I am on day 22 of lockdown now, and I should have done the first few wedding cakes of the 2020 season by now. It feels pretty crap from my end – I love making wedding cakes, such a wonderful experience to make the centrepiece of someone’s wedding. However, the way I feel about YOUR wedding being postponed, doesn’t even touch upon the way YOU are probably feeling about your non-wedding wedding day.
But – and here’s the thing – should you ignore the day that should have been your wedding, or should you celebrate what was supposed to have been? You might not be able to help the thoughts of what should have been: “I should have been getting ready by now,” “I should be walking down the aisle by now,” “We should be married by now.” All your planning and looking forward and waiting, and then nothing! An extra six months, a year to wait, or worst case scenario, total cancellation.
Well, I kinda think some folk will want to do something to celebrate the date by doing something to acknowledge it. After all, this worldwide lockdown is a unique-in-our-lifetime event which has ruined a unique-in-your-lifetime event. Others might want to ignore it altogether and just want to get past it before they can start looking forward to the re-arranged date. I’ve put together a few ideas of things to do if you want to celebrate it, and a few other ideas for if you just want it to pass you by.
If you want to mark the occasion –
– If you and your fiance/fiancée live together, spend the day just doing things for you – start by taking some time to make and eat your favourite breakfast together. If you don’t share a home, use FaceTime or Skype to keep in touch throughout the day. Prepare and cook your meals, and don’t feel daft propping up the phone as you eat, separately but together.
– Decorate the house! Not with paint, but use simple white paper to make flowers, streamers and banners, and hang them from the windows. Go to town on it! If you have any decorations bought for your wedding, use some of those as well (but be selective, you might not want your guests to have seen everything when you do eventually get your wedding day).
– If you have the ingredients in store, bake a little cake! Here’s the link to my favourite vanilla cake recipe.
– If the weather is suitable and you have access to your own outdoor space, make a picnic and lay a blanket out in the garden. Furnish it with cushions, pillows and blankets. Hang fairy lights around, or put little tea light candles in jars and dot them around your garden and light a small bonfire or put the wood-burner on if you have one. Not enough flowers in bloom? Cut out petal shapes from a few sheets of white paper and scatter them around. If you don’t have access to outside space or the weather is rubbish, have an indoor picnic instead.
– Write some vows. Not the ones you might have written or chosen for the wedding, but some suited particularly to the situation. Take a quiet moment to read them to each other.
Come what may, all bad fortune is to be conquered by endurance.”-Virgil
– Make your favourite dinner and lay the table properly, with a tablecloth, candles, wine glasses. Use some of your wedding decorations if you have access to them at your home and make your table really wedding-y. Dress up! Make it feel special.
– Watch a favourite film together, or get a board game out that you enjoy playing. Get out old photographs and look through them together.
– Involve your guests! Ask everyone who should have been there on your wedding day to send you a message, be it via messenger, email, skype or snail mail. Print off or record each message and keep them all together once you’ve both listened or read them.
– Make a paper flower wall or selfie booth and take a lot of photos together to remember your day.
– If you have children, involve them with everything. They’ll be feeling the stress of the lack of wedding day too, especially if they are of an age where they understand what is going on. Make it a family occasion, a day they will remember in the future.
“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.”― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
Now, on the other hand, if you just want your non-wedding wedding day to slide by as unnoticed as possible, there is only one rule: Don’t be too hard on yourselves. None of this is your fault and nothing you could have done would have prevented the current situation. Try to accept that this is not the day you planned, and just roll with it. If you have a routine and wish to stick with it like any other day, then do just that. If you need to wallow for a day, do it! The secret to wallowing is to pick yourself up the day after and feel better. If you don’t want to get out of bed, stay in it. Try and get some fresh air if the weather is fit, take yourselves out for your daily exercise, even if it’s just round the block. Take a warm bath. Listen to your favourite music. Eat your favourite foods. Stay away from social media and the news channels. Wrap yourselves up in a big blanket and watch a film. Cry. Laugh. But above all, please be kind to yourselves.
To conclude – stay home, stay safe, stay well and thank you to all our key workers – I wish everyone the best xx